


Pale, black and red bros.

by seademons



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chatlogs, M/M, Make Outs, Quadrant Confusion, Xeno, redrom sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-22
Updated: 2013-04-22
Packaged: 2017-12-09 05:31:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/770567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seademons/pseuds/seademons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dave sleuths like nobody's business, has a phd in cunning wooing plans and can't but abuse of time antics while karkat drowns himself in feelings and books and persists on finding where the strider piece fits in his quadrants.</p><p>basically knight shenanigans and make outs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chatlogs, feelings and booty groping attempt aside.

**Author's Note:**

> i started writing this a while back so i guess this takes place at the very end of year three perhaps  
> but man whatever it can happen whenever you want gomen

\--turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]--  
TG: rock me baby  
TG: rock me all night long  
CG: OH NO YOU DON’T.  
TG: honey  
TG: rock me all night long  
CG: HOW CAN YOU MAKE EVERY SINGLE VERB A SEXUAL INNUENDO? IT’S ONE OF LIFE’S MYSTERIES, I’M AFRAID. AND THIS IS NOT A POSITIVE COMMENT.  
TG: i want you to rock me baby like my back aint got no bone  
TG: dude bb king  
TG: and hes not the first one using rock as a sex verb jsyk  
CG: DID YOU JUST CALL ME KING.  
CG: EXCUSE ME WHAT ARE WE EVEN BLABBERING ABOUT??  
TG: oh my god  
CG: FIRST YOU WANTED TO BED ME, UNSURPRISINGLY, I THINK, AND I’M USUALLY RIGHT. NOW THERE’S A BABY KING AND I DON’T KNOW.  
CG: JE NE SAIS PAS.  
TG: no bb king was a dude  
TG: god im all levels of disappoint here  
TG: also is that french man always so romantic  
CG: YES, FRENCH, INDEED. I’M SURPRISED YOU CAN IDENTIFY DIFFERENT HUMAN LANGUAGES SO EASILY, EVEN IF THIS PARTICULAR ONE IS SCREAMINGLY OBVIOUS.  
TG: roll me baby  
TG: like you roll a wagon wheel  
TG: and pour french into my ears while you do so pls  
TG: picture perfectly charming  
CG: STOP.  
TG: seriously tho are you learning french  
CG: WHY WOULD I EVER INVEST ANY OF MY PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS TIME AND IMMENSELY SUPERIOR INTELLECT INTO SOMETHING SO TRIVIAL AS YET *ANOTHER* SHITTY HUMAN LANGUAGE?  
CG: STRIDER, PLEASE.  
TG: how do you know it then  
TG: or did you just type out random letters that look like french together  
TG: im checking this shit out rn  
CG: I WOULD LAUGH AT YOUR STUPIDITY BUT THIS IS ACTUALLY JUST REALLY FUCKING SAD.  
TG: did you google that  
TG: dont even try me ofc you did  
CG: A LONG TIME AGO, YES.  
CG: EXCEPT NOT USING YOUR HUMANOID GOOGLE TOOL, BUT WHATEVER.  
TG: so you do know french you little shit  
CG: OH MY GOD I DO *NOT* KNOW FRENCH. I ONLY KNOW THAT ONE SENTENCE FROM SOMEWHERE SO LONG AGO I CANNOT EVEN RECALL WHAT WAS THE EXACT SITUATION IN WHICH I FOUND MYSELF IN THAT CONNECTED ME TO THE SEARCH FOR THAT FUCKING KNOWLEDGE.  
CG: STOP ASKING, ASSHOLE.  
TG: karkles whats your number  
CG: WHAT.  
CG: YOU HAVE MY TROLLIAN HANDLE, ISN’T THAT ENOUGH? GOD DAMN IT.  
CG: AND FOR THE RECORD, WHOEVER GAVE YOU MY HANDLE SHOULD BE PUNISHED FOR ETERNITY AND KEPT AWAY IN ENDLESS TORTURE THROUGHOUT THEIR ENTIRE EXISTENCE HENCEFORTH.  
CG: NOT TO MENTION THOSE GODFORSAKEN WALKIE-TALKIES.  
TG: im glad i came can you take my order  
CG: IT’S ABSURDLY IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW WHAT WE/YOU ARE EVER TALKING ABOUT, BUT NO??  
CG: I’M PRETTY CONVINCED YOU’RE SINGING AGAIN LIKE THE MINDLESS RETARD YOU ARE. YOU REALLY SHOULD GET YOUR BRAIN IN CHECK, IT MOST LIKELY IS DANGEROUSLY DAMAGED. SPECIALLY IN THE AREAS THAT COMMAND RATIONAL SENTENCES TO FORM BEFORE ESCAPING YOUR LIPS.  
CG: NOT THAT YOU SPEAK SENSE WHEN YOU’RE NOT SINGING, BECAUSE YOU’RE ABOUT AS NONSENSICAL IN YOUR SPEECH AS A KID WITH HIGH LEVELS OF ADD.  
CG: OH, WAIT. THAT’S UN FUCKING DOUBTLY YOU. HAHAHAHAHA.  
TG: take my order cause your body like a carry out  
TG: let me walk it to your body till you hear me out  
TG: turn me on my baby dont you cut me out  
TG: btw tl;dr  
TG: was that supposed to be a lame burn tho  
CG: *YOU*’RE LAME.  
TG: also im p sure i dont have add or any kinds of disorder karkles  
TG: like my booty skills they be so choice no disorders there fo sho  
TG: i can prove you my booty mastership whenever you want  
TG: have you heard of the tornado  
TG: its insanely hot let me tell you its all about the hips  
TG: do you want me to show you my hip moves  
CG: AS TEMPTING AS IT SOUNDS  
CG: COUGH SARCASM COUGH  
CG: I BELIEVE I HAVE HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF LIVING TO EXPERIENCE ITS SWIRLS BEFORE MY VERY EYES, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. IT IS NOT NECESSARY ANOTHER DEMONSTRATION OF WHAT FORMS YOUR BIZARRE BODY CAN MOVE IN.  
CG: JUST MAKING IT CLEAR TO YOUR SIZE-REDUCED HUMAN BRAIN.  
TG: thats the only thing thats reduced in size i promise  
TG: when have you ever even seen my moves tho  
CG: YOU SHOW YOURSELF OFF TO TEREZI QUITE FREQUENTLY, DESPITE EVERYONE’S COMPLAINTS ABOUT IT.  
CG: ABOUT YOU AS A WHOLE, I GUESS.  
TG: the only complaint about me ever was yours flushkat  
TG: man but we were in the kitchen at three in the morning that day wtf  
TG: are you saying you spy on us  
TG: judging you karkles  
TG: i know my tornado brings all the bitches to the kitchen but god damn  
CG: YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE.  
TG: thank  
CG: THAT WAS HARDLY A COMPLIMENT.  
CG: I SIMPLY CANNOT COMPUTE HOW YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF EVERYDAY, ASSUMING YOU HAVE COMMON SENSE AND AN IMPECCABLE CONSCIENCE. WHICH, I GUESS, YOU SADLY LACK BOTH.  
TG: its p easy when im an a+ person wink  
TG: i dont know how you cant see that  
TG: maybe on purpose or maybe you do but you dont say anything and stalk me and tz in our late night adventures  
TG: i mean you want so much to be part of our cool cats group but you dont feel like youre cool enough for our cool so you just follow us instead sometimes when youre feeling specially gloomy poor cherry pie  
CG: I HAD INSOMNIA THAT NIGHT, ALRIGHT??? BESIDES, TROLLS ARE NATURALLY NOCTURNAL. YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE RECEIVING THE QUESTIONING INSTEAD, NOT ME.  
CG: AND NO. NOT EVEN IF THE MESSIAH HIMSELF DESCENDED FROM THE CLOUDS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE, POINTED AT ME AND TOLD ME I AM DESTINED TO BECOME ONE OF THE LIKES OF YOU IN ORDER TO POSSESS GREAT KNOWLEDGE AND POWER, I STILL WOULDN’T DO IT.  
TG: arent you a cutie  
TG: saying no to jesus and all man youre throwing yourself face first into grade a hell fire  
TG: oh wait theres an alt dave out there somewhere being a rad knight thus saving donzels and other knights in danger  
TG: youre good to go deny jesus your coolcat roots all you want i got your back always  
TG: if you know what i mean  
TG: coolkat  
TG: cute  
CG: USING GOOD MANNERS AS THE GENTLETROLL I AM BY LETTING YOU KNOW FIRSTHAND BUT RESPECTING MY AUTHORITY AS YOUR GOD BY ABRUPTLY CHANGING THE TOPIC ANYWAY.  
TG: ok you dont gotta ask to change topics cutiekat  
CG: IF YOU ARE SO SELF-SECURE OF YOUR GOOD A+ QUALITY TASTE IN HUMAN MUSIC, GIVE ME ONE EXAMPLE OF A SHITTY HUMAN COMPOSER/ARTIST.  
TG: man thats way too easy  
TG: about as easy as it is to give in to my hot touches  
TG: theyre always in the right places im telling you  
CG: DAVE, THE EXAMPLE.  
TG: seriously man basically lots of those shitty rock bands and all of those romantic girl singers  
TG: you know like led zappelin and adele respectively  
TG: katy perry is an exception sometimes ok  
CG: ARE KYLIE MINOGUE’S SONGS QUALITY?  
TG: lol they are so trash they make me fucking giggle whenever mtv insists on displaying a new clip of hers  
TG: its such a centralized attack of the giggles it makes me fall off the couch and roll around the floor thus alerting the entire fucking building that a big fat joke is running loose from the cops on a sunday evening and you better prepare the beer and the popcorn because the shows about to begin  
CG: OK.  
CG: ALRIGHT NOW HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE, IN A LOGICAL MANNER, YOUR FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS ON THEM?   
CG: I AM MAKING A STUDY THAT IS WHY I SOUND INTERESTED IN ASKING.  
CG: EMPHASIS ON *SOUND*.  
TG: what kinda study is that the music choices of the people in this meteor  
TG: id actually want to know now that youve mentioned  
TG: anyway yeah theyre p much what i said  
TG: laughable  
CG: WOULD YOU, PERHAPS, FEEL REPULSED BY HER LYRICS?  
TG: youve obviously never heard of anything shes made have you  
TG: if youre taking this seriously you should get informed about human music before asking people what they think of who and shit god dammit  
CG: MAYBE I’VE CONSIDERED LISTENING TO HUMAN MUSIC AND AM LOOKING FOR ADVICE, THUS THE RESEARCH.  
CG: OR MAYBE I’M ACTUALLY GOING SOMEWHERE INFORMATIVE WITH THIS AND ROSE HAS SOMETHING IN STORE FOR ME, DUMBASS.  
TG: something in store for you  
TG: oh man  
TG: man shit youre in shit get out while you can holy shiiiiit  
TG: i hope its not deep yet  
TG: bro seriously shes gonna give you a good couple hours of psychoanalysis im telling you  
TG: ive been there listen to my wise words  
CG: WOULD YOU JUST FUCKING ANSWER MY QUESTIONS? YOU ARE HONESTLY THE MOST COMPLICATED PERSON TO OBTAIN USEFUL INFORMATION FROM THAT I’VE EVER KNOWN.  
CG: MOSTLY BECAUSE YOU HARDLY EVER HAVE ANY SORT OF USEFUL THINGS TO SAY TO ANYONE, BUT THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT, AND BECAUSE I ONLY KNOW IDIOTS.  
TG: i cant do this to you karkles why are you doing this to yourself  
CG: BECAUSE  
TG: ...  
TG: yes because pls continue  
CG: BECAUSE  
CG: IF LOVE  
TG: what  
CG: IF LOVE WERE LIQUID IT WOULD DROWN ME  
CG: IN A PLACELESS PLACE IT WOULD FIND ME  
TG: oh my god  
CG: IN A HEART SHAPE COME AROUND ME AND THEN  
CG: MELT ME SLOWLY DOWN  
TG: oh my fucking god are you serious with this shit  
TG: do you even understand all the levels of horny that its in that song  
TG: consequentially in what youre typing slash saying  
TG: fyi ive watched a porno in which that was the bg song  
CG: WHY MUST YOU RUIN EVERYTHING.  
CG: EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF MY LIFE WHEN I’M HIGH-SPIRITED FOR TROLLING SOMEONE AND *IT’S WORKING* YOU SIMPLY HAVE THE INEXPLICABLE GIFT TO GO AND DESTROY IT IN MERE SECONDS, AS IF YOU WEREN’T EVEN TRYING. AND I’M PRETTY SURE YOU WEREN’T.  
CG: YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE.  
TG: the rose part is shit isnt it you were shitting me back there  
CG: I WAS SHITTING YOU SINCE THE MOMENT I ASKED ABOUT THE HUMAN COMPOSERS. HONESTLY, WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THEIR WEIRD ALIEN MUSIC? ASIDE FROM KANAYA AND ROSE, OBVIOUSLY.  
CG: YES, AND YOU. ALMOST FORGOT. WHO CARES?  
TG: go listen to some snoop dogg and youll know what im talking about  
TG: preferably from the 80s  
CG: “SENSUAL SEDUCTION” ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME.  
TG: omg i just snorted really loud holy fuck  
TG: just because im not keyboard smashing doesnt mean im not laughing my lungs out k  
CG: “LIGHT THAT SHIT UP”  
CG: THE TITLES DON’T REALLY LEAVE MUCH TO THE IMAGINATION.  
CG: AND THEY’RE NOT REALLY ATTRACTIVE EITHER.  
TG: my nigga light  
TG: that  
TG: shit  
TG: up  
CG: “DROP IT LIKE IT’S HOT”  
CG: NOW ONE MIGHT ASK ONESELF ‘DROP *WHAT*?’ AND THE CURIOUS WOULD CLICK THE VIDEO.  
TG: when the pimps in the crib ma  
CG: I AM GOING BACK TO MY NOVELS. THEY ARE AT LEAST A HUNDRED THOUSAND TIMES MORE QUALITY THAN ANY OF THIS TRASH.  
TG: how can you even compare music to literature  
TG: you rly are one of a kind karkles  
TG: in a tribute to your trollself ill use your logic and give it a try  
TG: if the music you listen to is as good as your romance novels i can understand why youre saying snoop is shit  
TG: holy shit buuuurn  
CG: HAVE YOU EVER EVEN READ ANYTHING BY JANE AUSTEN?  
TG: have you actually listened to mr dogg  
TG: touche  
TG: anyway do you feel like beating the meat  
CG: YOU HAVE VISION PROBLEMS. MAYBE SHORT SIGHTED? IT’S A COMMON DISGRACE IN YOUR RACE, I’VE BEEN TOLD.  
CG: I SAID I’M GOING TO READ NOW AND THAT MEANS BYE.  
CG: YOU CAN BURN YOUR HAND JERKING OFF FOR ALL I CARE.  
TG: baby pls  
TG: im a pro i know when to switch hands  
CG: JUST BY LOOKING AT YOUR FACE ONE IS TOLD OF THAT.  
TG: i guess i have quite a dubious face then  
CG: LATER, STRIDER. I HOPE YOU BURN BOTH OF YOUR HANDS.  
TG: i kismesis you too  
CG: LSKJF;DLF,SDFLKS  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG]--  
TG: vantas feat random freak outs  
TG: a trilogy  
TG: based on real facts  
TG: geromy  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling turntechGodhead [TG]--  
CG: OKAY WHERE IS IT.  
TG: what  
CG: MY BOOK YOU SHIT.  
CG: WHERE DID YOU HIDE IT? JUST SPIT IT OUT AND WE SHALL REMAIN INTOLERABLE PRICKS TO ONE ANOTHER AS IF ALL OF THIS HAS IN FACT HAPPENED.  
TG: so nothingll change between us then  
TG: is that what you mean  
CG: STRIDER.  
CG: WHERE IS MY BOOK.  
TG: like shit i keep track of your lovely lady novels  
CG: I AM GOING TO SET MY HAIR ON FIRE.  
TG: naw jk its right here in the room of the veil where the stories happen  
TG: what did we name this place again  
CG: STORYBLOCK.  
CG: FANTASYBLOCK?  
CG: SHITBLOCK I DON’T CARE.  
CG: IF YOU’RE SHITTING ME I’M CEASING THE STORIES FROM HAPPENING ANY FURTHER IN OUR LIVES AND YOU BETTER BELIEVE ME YOU SACK OF SHIT.  
CG: THIS IS AS SERIOUS AS A TROLL CAN GET.  
CG: AND THAT IS A LOT.  
TG: yeah yeah i believe you cheery pie  
\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG]--  
TG: bye to you too you little shit

You close Pesterchum and lie back onto the enormous pile of cloths, clothing articles and pillows that Karkat’s made sometime ago for the two of you, when in need to share stories and happenings such as bitching about someone’s past and present endeavors whilst making fun of everybody else. And of course, on occasion, hear lamentations and hopeless curses from your good little newfound bro about his long lost ex-best friend black-banging his once-to-be girlfriend. The worst is, no matter what you say, it’s never comforting (or comforting enough) to make him stop crying and feeling hopeless, so you kind of just end up feeling like an ass and pat him on the face, muttering soft shooshes the best you can manage. 

You two never talk about it when it happens, though. And it does happen more than you would like and feel receptive and okay with.

Truth is, you haven’t been talking to Terezi too much lately. Sometimes you feel like you’re picking sides, which is definitely not what you’d like to be doing at a time such as this, with emotional crisis on both sides of the table. One, Karkat, bitching and peeling his troll heart out over broken love dreams, and then there’s Terezi, dealing with her rather new Kismesis the best her troll self manages. You guess it’s not easy having a blackrom filled, specially with a psycho ass murderous clown on the loose. If having one simple human girlfriend is bitchy hard work and time-consuming, you really don’t want to know exactly how much of herself Terezi has to sacrifice. There’s no time for friends and relations when you’re in the vents after your deadly Kismesis, you guess. 

With Terezi not really around anymore, and Rose and Kanaya in their analysis concerning The Mayor, hence you and Karkat to yourselves. You once thought he’ll have to suffice for now, but he’s actually really distracting and fun to mess with. You’ve been thinking about leaving this one on the permanent basis at least until he feels like jumping out of your life like almost everybody else does at some point, apparently.

There’s no other way but wait and see what happens. And, on the meanwhile, enjoy the ride fully and thoroughly, which involves surprise book clubs, debates of all sorts and about any subject possible, partying until very late nights or very early mornings, arguing based on pointless subjects and theories and, sometimes, fighting for a cause or just out of anger, really. 

You don’t mind spending time with Karkat at all. It’s usually quality, anyway.

As you slide a finger across your iPhone screen to change tabs, the angry, huffing and puffing troll shows up, always in such high-spirits, you’re sure, and closes the troll story (you did remember the name of the room) door behind him. You glance at him but he takes no notice, possibly blinded by your shades, and walks around the room lifting clothes here and there, crouching to look under the furniture, all to no avail. You snort quietly, but intentionally loud enough for him to hear. His book was with you in the pile all along, and he rolls his eyes as you hold it up to him, watching him walk in your direction.

He takes a seat beside you in the pile, snatching the book out of your hands whilst huffing in distaste. There are no bookmarks in it, but he somehow knows the page from memory because he opens it and skims the random page quickly before flipping a few, then stops, fixing his gaze on it.

“hey guess what you just ruined my me myself and i moment here thanks i rly was going to beat it off if you already didnt know” You lie further back into the pile, shifting a little to get comfortable before shoving your cellphone into one of your jacket’s pockets.

“I’D APPRECIATE IF YOU WOULD KINDLY SHUT THE FUCK UP.” He frowns harder and by his face you can tell he’s rereading the paragraph. You sneer.

“what are you reading even there are like a thousand stories in there” You eye the girth of the book carefully as he sighs loudly. “i cant believe rose all up and handed you this gigantic compilation of austens lame stories i mean there might be all of her works there man” 

“I REALLY WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOUR TONGUE GOT CUT OFF WHILE YOU’RE FAST ASLEEP IN A CLOSE FUTURE. TOO CLOSE.” He howls gravely and proceeds to reread the page, frowning still. Really rare are the moments when he’s not. Except when he’s utterly bewildered by some major shit that sometimes happens while he’s in command of vaguely important things. He frowns when he cries and he frowns when he’s walking and talking and reading and, basically, doing anything. You wonder if he frowns when he sleeps. 

“weak im bored what game do you wanna play today” 

“YOU NEED A GODDAMN HUMAN TEENAGER PACIFIER.”

“why dont you read your book out loud then ill probably end up sleeping anyway”

He groans, bringing a hand to his forehead, then sliding it down his face in annoyance. It’s always amusing when he does that. “YOU ARE THE MOST ANNOYING ASSHOLE THAT EVER LIVED.” 

“are you one hundred percent sure thats written in the book karkles”

“I HATE YOU. ‘I SHALL VERY SOON THINK HIM HANDSOME, ELINOR, IF I DO NOT NOW. WHEN YOU TELL ME TO LOVE HIM AS A BROTHER, I SHALL NO MORE SEE IMPERFECTION IN HIS FACE THAN I NOW DO IN HIS HEART.’” You can’t help but notice the light crimson on his cheeks as a malicious grin creeps across your face.

“wait who are they gossiping about” He glances at you with startled eyes, mouth slightly agape, taken back for a moment there.

“EDWARD.” He simply replies, as if it answers anything, and doesn’t create more questions instead. You sure hope he hasn’t mistaken Sense and Sensibility for Twilight? “‘ELINOR STARTED AT THIS DECLARATION, AND WAS SORRY FOR THE WARMTH SHE HAD BEEN BETRAYED INTO, IN SPEAKING OF HIM. SHE FELT THAT EDWARD STOOD VERY HIGH IN HER OPINION.’”

You burst into laughter, feeling Karkat’s eyes on you, burning with hatred and inquiring, almost daring, you to expose the reasons for your indecent behavior during story-telling. You chuckle a couple of times before coming to an almost complete stop. “you talk exactly like the narrator of old love books holy shit” He completely gives up being sympathetic and reading to you at your second burst of jeeringly laughter, going back to his silent individual reading. 

You let yourself laugh and be merry whilst your mind wonders over funny scenarios in which Karkat is dressed in an old-fashioned English tux, talking in funny accents and narrating two hundred years old stories to fellow townsfolk and declaiming Shakespearean poems and sonnets eagerly about the streets. It’s extremely amusing, you think, and let your eyes flutter closed engulfed in that still silence.


	2. Feelings, make outs and unrequited naps.

You wake up with a sudden jolt, eyes wide. It took Karkat by surprise, you’re sure, by the way he’s looking at you. It wasn’t in your plan falling asleep, and you sure as hell didn’t take notice when you did do it. You’re not even sure how you woke up just now, without anything to alert you of your sleeping and that you shouldn’t be doing such a thing and whatnot. 

Karkat watches you silently for a couple more moments as you recompose yourself, sitting upright beside him and stretching your back while you do so. He then glances back down at his book and you realize you’ve slept a good goddamn while up to now. You’re almost completely sure that he hasn’t let go of this stupid book not for a moment and holy shit he’s read many chapters while you were wondering in dream Derse there.

He really has nothing to do, has he?

You place an elbow on your knee and rest your chin on your hand, cupping half of your cheek. You pat Karkat’s knee with your free hand, getting a side glance from him in reply. “cmon read for me pls” You yawn a little, half deliberately half caught in the moment.

He shuts his eyes closed, groaning on the back of his throat. A very troll sound, you think. “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE STORY LINE.” He flings one of his hands towards the open page of the book, as if indicating the story.

“thats exactly why i want you to narrate that page for me”

He slaps both hands on his face before fixing his gaze down at his lap, sighing heavily in defeat. “‘NO, NO, NO’ CRIED MARIANNE, WILDLY: ‘HE LOVES YOU, AND ONLY YOU. YOU CAN HAVE NO GRIEF.’” He stops for a moment, peeling his eyes from the page and closing them, rubbing afterwards with the back of his hand. You’ve always thought he looks like a cat when he’s sleepy or tired, and he really does, specially with those constantly huge bags under his eyes.

“hey i had a great idea why dont we take a nap y/y” 

He glances at you, frowning tiredly. “YOU *JUST* WOKE UP FROM ONE.” 

You just shrug, though, smiling recklessly. “ill make you company kittykat”

He fixes his gaze on your face for a few moments, and you don’t dare break the silence until he’s done and looks away from you, to the far corner of the room. He slowly closes the book between his legs and stretches them, placing his precious collectible aside as you exhale silently. 

You two exchange glances. 

You know he’s in some sort of mental discussion with himself, possibly in an impasse to whether comply and have a nice, long nap in a perfectly comfortable pile of clothes next to a handsome Hollywood diva, or do _something_ to get you out of the room or whatever of the sort so you won’t watch him sleeping. And what most intrigues you, whenever you touch upon the subject, is how defensive he is about it. Almost as if you were insulting him and meaning it, or doing something equally abusive that gives him reasons to defend himself from fatal damage.

And the more you think about his reasons, the more it intrigues you.

“you waiting for a goodnight kiss or smtn” He shoots you a reprehensible look and holds it for a moment, then sighs and falls back onto the pile. 

“I HAVE DONE SOME THINKING RECENTLY.” He shifts a little and covers himself with more and more clothes until it’s only possible to see his face and oh my god you are so interested in where this conversation is going.

“yeah bout what” You lie on your side, a hand supporting your head so you’re looking at him properly. He glances at you, as if searching your face for sarcasm or other dubious meaning behind your words or any kind of emotion, really, only to sigh defeated.

“I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THINGS. AND MORONS. SPECIALLY MORONS, YEAH.” He moves a little inside the pile, covering his face for a moment then glancing back at you. “I DON’T KNOW.”

You raise your eyebrows in response. “im listening”

He drops his gaze and moves, which you’re pretty sure was a shrug, and he looks sad. Disappointed, almost. Lonely? Whatever it is, it doesn’t indicate this is how you were expecting this to go. “I GUESS I JUST MISS CRABDAD.”

Oh my god he’s going to cry.

“naw cmon youre a grown up now karkat you gotta watch out for yourself im sure you can do it man” You’re absolutely the worst in this and both of you know it. You reach a hand and pap him on the cheek, caressing his face carefully. It’s basically all you do, anyway, in times like this. 

“I NEED TO KNOW IF YOU AND TEREZI WERE, OR ARE, A THING.” If he had said that in any other scenario, you’d laugh scornfully and reply that yeah, you and her are totally married and have a house, actually, in Wisconsin where five merry half-troll half-human kids run around happily and buckets are for house hygiene, not troll fornication. You wish this was the case for such a response.

“look no were just bros ok theres nothing to it”

He fixes his gaze on you, and silently watches you for a couple of minutes, maybe to make sure you’re serious and meaning your words. You know he has a hard time believing you and telling sarcasm from sincerity. You don’t blame him, though; you grew up to master hiding these impressions, and you’ve learned well.

“dude its time you let her go man” You’ve been avoiding having to say these specific words, but it’s been long enough. He’s hurting worse than necessary, uselessly, and since god knows when. He takes a liking for self-loathing and feeling miserable, you know that, but everything has a limit and he’s pushing it. Maybe later it can turn into a disease or something dangerous like that. You’ll have to inquire Rose on Karkat’s mental health status sometime.

You feel like his babysitter way too often.

“I KNOW BUT.” He pauses, clentching his jaw, then turns around with his back to you. You lie your whole torso on the pile beside him, papping and caressing him on the back. “I FEEL *SOMETHING* FOR YOUR STUPID SELF.”

You freeze.

The room is suddenly very dense and the air is heavy, the atmosphere is crushing you against the pile and pressing your lungs tightly against your chest. The silence is completely fulfilling, it’s way too quiet, you can almost hear Karkat’s heartbeats from here.

He just mistook bromance and friendship for something else.

“what kind of thing” You said that too fast. You hope he didn’t notice.

He remains quiet for a while, most likely thinking over what to say exactly. “I DON’T KNOW. SOMETIMES I THINK IT’S KIND OF RED, THEN IT SWITCHES TO PALE, THEN TO BLACK SOMEHOW AND IT JUST KEEPS CHANGING AND IT’S AN ENDLESS TERPSICHORE. IT’S SO FUCKING *CONFUSING*.”

“dude how old are you” Wow, rude. Way too rude, holy shit.

He turns around and shoots you a _very_ nasty glare, as if you’re either mentally retarded or simply aren’t listening and don’t give one flying shit of what he just told you. He doesn’t look hurt, though, just disconcerted to how this specific question makes sense in the context. He didn’t consider the lame burn it could mean, too, which is a good thing.

“EIGHT.” That’s like... Sixteen? Maybe around that, yes. It’s understandable all his hormonal switches, specially concerning four different quadrants to try and fit a person in their respectable place. Only _then_ he could consider anything such as to partake in action regarding agreeing how he feels about this person, and going after them, or disagreeing and trying to shoo the thoughts away.

It must suck being a troll sometimes.

You’re kind of glad Terezi and Gamzee pulled it out so easily, you suppose, and everything just worked out in union. It’s kind of amazing, really, now that you think about it and all the difficulties.

But you have a troll in distress in your arms and he _just told you_ how he feels about you and you’re asking about his goddamn _age_ for some reason that made sense for a second there.

“i uh” His eyes are huge looking at you and he looks scared and he’s _shaking_ ; you feel awful. He needs you to comfort him, and yet you’re approving of his once-to-be girlfriend’s relationship with his ex-best friend, god _damn_ it. You’re honest to god almost telling yourself out loud how big of a moron you are, and he’s probably waiting for an answer or _anything_ in a some sort of reply and he’s each second more scared you just reach over and press your lips against his.

You have no idea what you’re doing but you’re going with it, wherever it lands you afterwards.

But then he immediately tenses up and you withdraw, _ffffuck_.

Okay, yeah, you fucked up; it’s official now. It barely lasted two seconds and you chickened out. If Bro only knew.

You don’t know if it’s possible but it looks like his eyes are even bigger than before and wow he’s confused as fuck. You know because you are, too; you really don’t know what you expected out of that. It wasn’t carefully thought through, nah; you didn’t even think, it’s true, you just went along with it. You had an idea, even if half-baked, but you fucking went after it. You are a man of guts, you can’t be shaking right now. 

You could kiss him again. He looks very choice under all of these clothes and pillows and in this dim light illuminating the room through the window from somewhere in the veil, in your arms. You shift and hug him, bring him closer, kiss him softly on the forehead, then on his eyebrow then his cheek and chin and jawline. He flinched at first, but now his features are soft and body relaxed. Eyes closed. 

He moves his hands from your chest around your back, hugging you back as you kiss his lips last. You don’t back away this time, and he kisses back, moving his lips around a little together with yours. You press little kisses on his mouth, tasting his responses as he kisses you back sweetly. You slide your tongue across his bottom lip slightly, sucking on it afterwards. He melts in your arms and you keep on kissing him, pressing your lips against his and he presses back just as eagerly, half-successfully chocking back a small moan. You trap and pull his bottom lip in between your teeth, quick on pressing another kiss on his mouth. 

He tastes delicious.

You keep kissing him repeatedly as he tightens his hold around you, pulling himself closer to you, and you do just the same, but also sliding your hands down his back, following the curve to his ass. You barely grab anything and he pushes you abruptly away, breathing heavily and alarmed, cheeks pumping red. His eyes quickly search your face, but you’re impassive as a stone. 

He starts making his way out of the clothes pile, but you’re quick on ceasing him by the wrist. He pulls his arm away from you, trying to free himself from your hold, but to no avail. “stay lets talk” As if those were the magical words, he stops jerking his arm around and raises his eyes at you, in a pliant hope. You gently pull him closer, embracing him tenderly. “look you dont have to fit me in a fix quadrant we can work this out together” You’re pretty sure the name of that is quadrant vacillation, but you’re not _completely_ sure so you don’t say anything else. You’re not even sure what you mean by those words, to begin with.

You’re a mystery even to yourself.

He doesn’t say anything and just remains there, breathing still and quietly. Maybe he’s thinking in which quadrant (or plural) you fit nicely in. You really don’t mind what he decides, in the end, if it makes him emotionally more stable than now it’s a great decision, whichever quadrant(s) you end up with. Of course it would be nice if it involves more make outs, yeah, that’d be great.

It’s not like you’ve never considered him more than a bro or a friend, it’s simply that it all seemed so utterly _off reach_ you kind of imposed a limit to yourself in order to maintain your friendly relationship with him. He’s the only one you have here, and you treasure him a bit too much to mess this up, whatever this is, whatever this might or might not become. 

You’ve wondered about many intimate subjects concerning trolls before, perhaps too much or too often, but you’ve only really asked Kanaya once about one of the many questions and doubts you have regarding their species. After you inquired her on troll anatomy and its delicacies, she rose an eyebrow at you before answering, choosing her words ever so carefully before discoursing any of them. You got schooled big time that day, and since then your imagination’s gotten better by the hour.

You close your eyes and pat Karkat on the back, caressing him gently. You wonder what time it is and, to tell the truth, you’re pretty hungry. One of your hands makes its way through the clothes and down to your jacket, fishing your cellphone with success. You bring it up eye-level and behind Karkat’s head, so the light won’t blind him. You press the button on the upper right and holy shit it’s four in the morning. No wonder why you’re so hungry.

You put the cellphone away and you’re about to speak when Karkat makes a small noise that is actually very soft in your ears. It definitely wasn’t a snore, unless he fakes them badly. And you mean disastrously badly; worse than Lil’ Cal pretending to snore. And the shiver that just ran up your spine was because of this dreadful draft from the _closed_ window. Obviously.

“dude did you just say something” You’re unable to quite make out his face from this angle, with your arms around him and his face on your neck and all. It’s kind of cute, really, if you were to look at both of you from an outer point of view. It could make a good cover for a movie or book where one of the parties has cancer, or is going to the war, or whatever equally sad and terrible. Not your kind of movie, but definitely his. “dude im starving do you feel like engaging in a two-man job in an early morning slash very late mission to raid the fridge” 

He makes no reply and you wonder if he’s ignoring you or oh my god he’s asleep.

And you guess he snores? Breaking news, you had no idea troll snores were so cute and nice to listen to. Kind of as soft as a purr, really. It’s a tremendous contrast to all their gore and violence and harsh manners, which is nice, in your opinion, specially because it makes this the night of blackmail material entirely at your disposal. Stock sale, with prices so low it’s a crime not to take it all.

The room is so quiet that the rumble your stomach makes sounds like a fucking thunder, holy wow. You can hear Karkat’s breathing loud and clear. Maybe not so loud, but definitely clear. If that alone makes sense.

You wonder if those hypnosis things where the weirdo guy makes somebody asleep with those dysfunctional watches patterned with a black and white swirl and then talks in their sleep _actually works_. If the person’s unconscious hears the guy and it burns in their memory what he said, but the person doesn’t remember when they wake up. Probably just TV drama, but who are you to pass this opportunity? Specially concerning your time powers and, besides, this is science we’re talking about. All for science, and science for all. That definitely is your motto right now.

“yo karkles can you hear my voice” You whisper close to his ear, maybe lower than necessary but you can’t risk waking him up. Not today. “if you can hear my voice nod or something pls” 

He flaps his ears on your face like an animal trying to free itself from a fly in the wilderness. That’s good enough of a sign, you’ll take it.

“you like dicks karkat im telling you dog you want those dongs bad and they be passing around like cheap cigars man you gotta chase your dreams theyre right at the door bro just open up” You wait for a moment to see if you get any response of any kind, and when you don’t you just assume it burned so hard in his brain it can barely function right now. Your hypnotism skills are the shit. If Earth was still a thing you’re pretty sure you’d be graduated on it long time. 

“yk daves raps theyre so fly you be craving for some out braving but dont cry i hereby certainly wont decline your waiving for some of his sweet rhyme yeah” If he starts taking a liking for quality music and poems and raps you will be so satisfied with yourself. You certainly would go after Rose and tell her all about the hypnosis session and all of its positive effects and how it actually works, despite everybody’s bullshit about it. It’s envy, you’re sure.

You shift a little, a few inches away from him so you can make sure he’s really asleep and not ignoring you instead. The hypnosis would never work then, and that is obviously your first concern and not the ignoble shame that would befall on you with all this grade A mockery material you’re handing to Karkat on a silver plate, completely free of charge.

He groans a little as you move and he doesn’t frown oh my god he doesn’t frown when he sleeps. One of life’s great, great mysteries sleuthed. Man, you’re _on fire today_. You could become a professional detective if you wanted, god _damn_. Terezi would be your prosecutor and The Mayor would order you around town, sleuthing every single mystery not even Batman can solve as gracefully as you.

Back to the sleeping knight, though; he’s looking choice once again. You wonder if you go back in time right after he came clear of his feelings on you, if you could rewrite that love confession right, with legit entitlement for a poetical response that could make Shakespeare jealous instead of hurting your expectantly to-be quadranttroll. But then again you’d leave this timeline’s Karkat behind and switch him for another one and alternate selves would start piling up again, god _dammit_. Time traveling is so uselessly complex sometimes and it just fucks your romantic plans up for absolutely no reason. Or you should just deal, yeah.

You opt for only speeding time around you a little, fast forwarding it to an interesting happening instead. Though, you do slow it back down for a little while whenever Karkat wrinkles his nose or purrs or turns around somewhat or moves or yawns or oh my god this is really creepy. You start feeling outlandish and sick to your stomach watching him so you fast forward until he wakes up. He doesn’t need to know about any of this.

He frowns and that’s when you know he’s fully awake, conscious and back to his usual self. You slow time back to normalcy as he blinks a couple of times before actually focusing on you. 

You smile a little, but he just stares.

A dull silence befalls upon you both and you start having second thoughts about going back and redoing everything. As the idea hits you completely, a cold _something_ runs up your stomach and throat, bringing bitter nausea and a wave of shivers along, together with a hint of pain, maybe, and loneliness. _You’d miss him so much_ , even if the past-Karkat you’d go back to is exactly the same as this one, only less hurt and from a few hours ago. He still wouldn’t essentially be the same to you.

You’re scared to lose another friend.

This quick reflection that just flashed before your eyes seems to have shown in your face, you think, because he’s rising an eyebrow at you looking a little worried, maybe. You recompose yourself in a snap and mirror his face, except purposely exaggerated and jeered. He instantly rolls his eyes at you and pushes you slightly, burying himself in clothes on the meanwhile. You snort a little and shift closer to him, venturing your arms further into the pile looking for his torso. You’re sure you grab more than necessary there, but once found, you coil an arm around him and pull him back against your chest, granting his head a chaste little kiss. 

“so hey do you have anything to tell me about my raps or what” You almost whisper and he turns his head around a bit, glaring at you. “WHY WOULD I?” You shrug somewhat, honest to god disappointed with pretty much the entire psychology field. 

“nevermind lets just swoop that goddamn fridge already i fucking share the africans pain all the sudden and it aint nice my stomachs making the rumblies man this is serious almost irreversible i swear” It’s his turn to snort, except in rather annoyance, whilst swirling in your hold until he’s facing you entirely. “YOU DIDN’T SLEEP, YOU BULGEMUNCHER, DID YOU?” You ponder at his words for a little while then shake your head, smiling in confessable culpability. He closes his eyes and groans in vexation, and you’re sure he’d facepalm if the complicated body arrangement of yours would easily allow. 

“UGH, SOME OF THAT WEIRD COFFEE SHIT MIGHT BE JUST WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW.”


	3. Sleuthing drunk girl mysteries.

You’re not really impressed when you find Rose lying on the kitchen table, drunk out of her mind, with a half-empty glass of whatever shitty cocktail she made in one hand and a near-empty alcohol bottle in the other. The whole scenario is unreal, what with her drooling all over the table and fucking _snoring_ out of all lady-like possibilities of beauty sleep. You’re more disgusted than you feel bad for her, mostly because she hasn’t even taken the consideration of making you one single drop of apple juice since she’s been alchemizing drinks and the sorts. Some practical sister you have.

Karkat rises an eyebrow at her, sneering a bit at the sight. Both of you take your time analyzing the situation at hand and thinking over on how to possibly proceed. You glance at each other quizzically, neither with a plausible solution for the case. He, then, motions for both of you to, maybe, kind of just... Poke her? You shrug, nodding slightly, what the hell. He quirks his lips for a fraction of a second, which you’ll take as a smile, then takes a few steps towards her, reaching a hand and softly poking her on the shoulder. She quickly jerks up with a choke and a hiccup, hands flailing around so abruptly if it wasn’t for your time shenanigans the glass and bottle would’ve been thrown five thousand feet away and smashed on all existing walls. You’re welcome, your facial expression says.

She barely even keeps her eyes open and spontaneously throws herself on Karkat, hugging him closely, almost weeping but certainly sobbing. He’s in shock and remains stuck in position as a statue, arms bent on the elbows and fingers displayed haphazardly in terror. His eyes are huge and he looks at you, silently begging for any sort of aid you can concede him. 

You scoff jeeringly, amused with the whole situation. “dude rose-“

“Aaahhh Papaya Im’ sorky I can’ot stpop drimpking.. . ;( Plesase do’nt be mada t me.....” That is by far the saddest thing you’ve heard in your life and Rose thinks Karkat is Papaya. Kanaya* You’re about to have either a laughing or a crying fit, you don’t know what’s worse, but both would result to nothing at all.

By the way he’s glaring at you and shaking more violently by the second you guess you better act fast.

Haha, good one.

You freeze time for a figurative second and take a look around. Rose seems to have been drinking for a good while before finally passing out over the table. There are many glasses randomly knocked over the counters and the table, with salt and lemons all around the place. In fact, now that you’re thoroughly examining the details you realize there are drops of alcohol, in most likelihood, from the kitchen door to the table. You walk to the door and, as expected, more drops are on the carpet. Doesn’t alcohol evaporate quickly, though? You frown and crouch near the drops. Feeling like a true CSI you brush a finger on the drop and smell it carefully, with a concerned detective face. You wrinkle your nose and yep, it definitely is lime, that you’re sure, but you can’t tell about the alcohol per se. 

Whatever she had, it was STRONG.

You glance forward, down the hallway. Man, the trail of evidence goes all the way over to Rose’s respiteblock. You mean bedroom. You wonder where all of this investigation will get you, and if it’ll be useful to you in this particular case. You shrug it off and continue sleuthing, though, until you’re standing right in front of the door. You swing it open delicately, tilting your head a bit to the side as you do so just to make sure nothing mind-threatening might come down the ceiling laughing ( _haa haa hee hee_ ) to get you unarmed. When you’re half the way to open the door fully, you see what seems to be part of a Kanaya, supposition confirmed after you finish opening the door completely. You rise your eyebrows a little, so yesterday was fun, you guess. It would be honest to god awkward if she wasn’t properly dressed for a regular day in a shitty meteor inhabited by two humans, four trolls and a carapace lad, which is to say she looks like an absolute diva.

You close the door and hide behind the wall next to it before withdrawing your time antics from the veil. You, then, turn to fully face the door and knock on it. In less than the expected five reaction seconds, she opens the door to you, in a bit of a surprise. “hey could you help me out with this unreal biznasty thats going on in the kitchen i mean youre kinda the one whos requested to be there but anyway so shall we” You motion with your head for her to follow you and she rises an eyebrow, but complies nonetheless.

*

Karkat’s more pissed at you than interested in your detective story, which doesn’t exactly suck, but doesn’t make breakfast entertaining either. You thought he liked novels, but now you’re more inclined to believe he only enjoys romance novels and despises a good true professional sleuthing description. Whatever, you guess.

With Kanaya taking care of Rose, you and him were left alone in the kitchen. The silence makes you wonder where The Mayor is at and if he’s doing ok. You inquire Karkat on his whereabouts, but instead of replying he makes a very troll sound indicating he’s _still_ not interested, except annoyed as an addendum this time. You’ve had enough time to pick up on his foreign gobbledegook to know what means what, specially the warning sounds, and this is clearly one of them. 

You push your coffee mug a bit away, disregarding the remnant liquid inside, which has acquired the unappealing dimly colored daub on the surface already. Karkat’s making faces at his drink but has not relinquished it yet. It’s only a matter of time for that, though, you’re sure, so you place an elbow on the table and rest your chin in your hand, watching him struggle with the distasteful coffee. He lasted longer than you thought and did finish it all, even if endlessly swearing at the beverage afterwards. You rise your eyebrows and pucker your lips in acknowledgement, but he only defensively scoffs back at you. 

“i guess you dont feel like talkin about earlier do you” He glares at you for a rather long moment, then, withstanding silence, takes the two mugs before jumping off his seat and walking to the sink, still glaring at you. You shrug and he turns around, placing the empty mugs in the sink, then opening the tap a little to allow the fall of ordinary slime in them. You’ve never understood how slime even cleans anything but who cares while his booty is so well observed from here. Hot _damn_ , that’s a hella nice view. You stare shamelessly for the five seconds of appreciation he grants you, mainly because of your marvelous, marvelous beautiful shades that eschews with perfection the possibility of one ever descrying your objects of gaze. 

Alright, maybe not so _perfectly_ as you’d like to think, for you’ve learned, from experience, that after a good while, implying years, observing the many reactions of a shaded person it is indeed possible to read them openly. Karkat has not nearly spent a full two years with you, though, which incapacitates him of even knowing if you’re listening to his loud words. Although you often are, that is currently out of the question.

“cmon cant we talk” You’re still staring at his thighs and crotch, god dammit. You frown but force yourself to gaze upwards, at his face, only to catch a glimpse of him rolling his eyes at you, growling, before storming out the kitchen growling still. He’s having none of your shit, you guess, but that will change soon. 

You’ve a plan.


	4. Wooing expert.

It took you five hours, two lunch stops, one nap and a great deal of sleuthing ability but you’ve done it and it looks even better than expected. You honestly didn’t know if the meteor had all the resources you needed to make it absolutely perfect, but in the end it all worked out, you rightfully suppose.

Your heart is skipping various beats in anticipation, making you even more excited than you already allow yourself to secretly be. You hope he’ll like it as much as you do, and maybe even more. You’re grinning like an idiot and your hands won’t stop fidgeting mindlessly, so you start aimlessly walking about the room, glancing at every corner, every detail, every specificity to make sure everything is the way you want it to be. You almost have a heart attack when you realize you can’t find one imperfection whatsoever, everything is absolutely ready, now you only have to call him over. 

You stop dead in track.

It’s time, now. You take a deep breath and mentally congratulate yourself on the quality job before taking your walkie-talkie from your pocket. You stare at it for the longest moment, finding yourself leaning on a wall adjacent to the door. You finally peel your eyes from the device and glance at the door, sighing somewhat. Time’s up.

You tried to make it as magical as you could, even if magic is fake as shit. 

It all seems silly now, for some reason, but you’re not having second thoughts on any of this. With little to no hesitation, you solemnly press and hold the call button, bringing the speaker close to your face. 

“psst karkles its dave are you there over” After all the screaming and given lectures, it’s finally gotten through your thick head how requisite the word ‘over’ is at the end of every sentence. You still don’t understand why ‘period’ isn’t a possible synonym in this case, but you don’t personally care.

You let go of the button and wait in silence for his reply. Fortunately, it doesn’t take long before “WHAT OVER.” reaches you through the speaker.

“come to section three underground room six over” And it’s done. 

The display of rooms in this place is so thoroughly complicated this is why you and him named the most important and most used ones. At first you didn’t know if you should call this ‘the room next to troll story’ or not, but you stuck to the original nomenclature to make it sound more official and eminent. Although you already have a name for it, and he _will_ agree to it.

After a considerable while, he insecurely replies. “WHY? ...OVER.”

“i wanna show you something over”

You don’t hear an answer in quick succession, so you guess he’s given in and is in his way. You shove the walkie-talkie down your pocket and cross your arms, closely watching the door for when he comes in. You could fast forward time in order not to have to wait, but you’re scared in case you miss his arrival so you simply wait, like any normal person unendowed with godly powers would. 

*

It’s been a good twenty minutes. Your back starts to hurt and you are forced to shift away from the wall and straighten your spine, cracking random bones loudly as you stretch. He’s taking his sweet ass time, now, isn’t he. 

You groan, bored of waiting and in annoyance of standing for too long. The whole decoration you made isn’t as impressive to you anymore, which is a sign of far too much time consumed in here, you’re sure. You slide a hand in your pocket and fish your cellphone out at once.

\--turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]--  
TG: dude what the hell  
CG: SORRY.  
TG: whats taking you so fucking long  
TG: ...  
TG: fucking answer me  
CG: I’M NOT GOING.  
TG: what  
TG: the fuck why not  
CG: IT WAS BETTER WHILE YOU WERE IGNORING ME THE WHOLE DAY, WASN’T IT? WE SHOULD REMAIN THAT WAY.  
CG: UGH.  
TG: ignoring you   
CG: ...  
TG: i wasnt ignoring you i was legitimately busy  
TG: besides you didnt want my company for most of the time youre always reading and shit  
TG: what are you saying you miss me or smth  
TG: cute  
CG: FUCK YOU.  
CG: YOU THINK YOU’RE SO FUCKING FUNNY WHAT WITH ALL YOUR NONCHALANT ATTITUDE AND UNCOMPROMISING BEHAVIOR.  
CG: WELL FUCK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR HUMAN DICK OR WHEREVER HURTS MOST.  
CG: I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT EARLIER AND I’M NOT GOING DOWN THERE.  
TG: whoa i have important shit to tell you so just come here  
TG: why dont you wanna talk about yesterday though   
TG: im p convinced what i have to say is of interest to you  
CG: IF THAT’S SO FUCKING IMPORTANT, WHY DON’T YOU TELL ME RIGHT AWAY?  
TG: because i intend to snog you afterwards  
TG: yk like in your favorite romcoms   
CG: HA   
CG: HA  
TG: im serious  
CG: ...  
TG: after you come down and be all amazed by the decor at least pretend to be surprised while i talk feelings out ok  
TG: so  
TG: come over  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]--

The room is entirely lit by a vast number of small Christmas lights connected to one another through a dark green thread, which you displayed along the whole ceiling, shaping a colorful swirl of light on it and coming down the four corners to the floor, outlining it and connecting to a close output. In this specific room, originally there wasn’t a socket for lamps on the ceiling, which made Karkat angry to the point of never opening the door to it again. 

He was looking for a quiet block to read, and this was the quietest.

In order to make it funkier, you had asked Kanaya five hours earlier if you could borrow a few of her and Rose’s jewellery, anything with crystals or stones you could use to deflect light. You got a great deal more than imagined and wondered a bit if all of it was really necessary for two girls, but chose better than to argue with someone doing you a favor. And what a favor.

At first you displayed them randomly around the ceiling, which looked cool, it did, but after close inspection of the gems you went through their respective places carefully, examining their deflection patterns and shit, it would be awesome if they would move while hanging down the ceiling. The coolest ones closer to the center, and the still cool but less cool to the corners. 

You thought it’d be like a fucking discotheque, but it looked more magical than that and not at all obsolete, kind of like those fairy related things with delicate arrangement and composition. In other words, magically gay.

After many a many hours of looking for a television and actually bringing it down to the room, you cursed all the extremely imposing work it gave you to do so, but was more than glad you had successfully completed the task without destroying anything, including yourself. You put it in the corner of the room, back to the door, and went look for an unused and vacant mattress.

It was harder than finding a TV, it took longer to do so, but it was way easier to carry it to the room and place it in the corner. You didn’t know what to decorate it with, so you threw many pillows and cushions on it and then yourself, for testing purposes. It was so comfortable you stopped time and took a huge nap on it, still for testing purposes.

You woke up feeling great and even predispositioned to name this room movie knights. Karkat is sure to like it, you had thought, and still think it’s a good name and will defend this name with all your might. 

Your stream of memory flashbacks from up to five hours ago is interrupted as you hear a faint knock on the door. Breathing calmly, you walk to it and swing it open gracefully, grinning at the sight of an annoyed Karkat standing ahead. He glares at you, demanding you let him pass immediately. 

“you can only come in if you agree this is movie knights” As expected, he rolls his eyes at you, indicating a facial ‘whatever’ so you step aside and let him in. 

Your heart rate increases by the minute as you slowly close the door and watch as he looks around silently. You know he’s bond to remain wordless, he’s mad at you and with reason, so you’re pretty much the one to break the ice. Again and as always. 

“what do you think” 

His eyes glance from one corner of the room to the other, as he slowly swirls around, in a subconscious attempt to see everything and mentally register every detail, silently mapping out the disposition of objects in the room, the containts of the room, everything surrounding him. All the while dazzled by the colorful lights dancing on the walls, displaying mutable patterns on the furniture, on you, on him. He fixes his gaze at you, eyes wide in amazement, his entire being awestruck, mouth slightly agape in bewilderment. He is absolutely speechless.

You delicately swag over to him, a genuine smile ostentated, close enough to place your hands on his hips. As he doesn’t react, you lean over and press a chaste kiss to his cheek, reassuring your presence. For as much as you want to talk your reasons out and soothe him from any possible fret, you remain silent, allowing him space for any sort of objection he might be restraining within. Instead, he closes his eyes and rests his forehead on the crook of your neck, breathing steadily, calmly. You gently wrap your arms around him, holding him close, tenderly rocking him sideways a little. He slides his arms around your chest and locks them behind your back, comfortably resting against you. 

You’ve never seen him this tranquil and it’s surprisingly pacifying. 

“i told you we can work this out together and i meant it” You whisper in the still silence, caressing his back softly and with as much seriousness in your voice as you’re committed to its message. 

He remains quiet, and the two of you simply stand there, holding each other in your arms for the longest time, neither speaking a word of loosening the grip. You’ll never let him go.

*

His hand is a bit smaller than yours, but much softer. His palm is smooth on yours, he slides it along yours and spreads his fingers apart, inserting them between yours, closing his hand in yours, and yours in his. You caress the back of his with your thumb and he shifts closer beside you on the mattress, now sitting with his thigh brushing against yours. You press a kiss on his head and he looks up at you, eyes bright under the colorful waltz of lights. 

“I LIKE YOU.” He almost chokes on the words, in shocking realization himself. He’s attempting to whisper, and so you whisper back.

“i love you” In fact, you’re madly in love with him right now.

His eyes search your face desperately for any signs of irony or ambiguity, and that’s when you reach your free hand for your shades and push them up your forehead, placing them at the top of your head, brushing some of your fringe along. He gasps soundlessly at the sight of your eyes, suddenly feeling inexplicably attached to you, bonded to you in some way. His eyes are fixed on yours and he’s unable to look away.

His are extremely close to being entirely red, too, now that you’re one to descry. You wonder how long that’s been so and why you haven’t noticed before.

He brings his free hand up, fingers slightly touching your cheek, insecure, ghosting over your skin in a gentle caress. “HOW.” He succeeds a whisper, straightening his back to gain height and level your eyes. You coil your free arm around his waist and bring him closer, until the tip of his nose is brushing yours. 

“ill explain crazy human dna mutation to you later its not that important right now im sure” 

You barely finish whispering and he’s kissing you zestfully, holding your head close with a hand on the back of your neck. You instantly kiss him back, work your lips against his, inciting him to do the same. The kiss is a mess of lips smearing against each other, pressing together and parting for milliseconds, then smashing together in long lost reencounter, dreadfully fearing the distance of the other and eagerly extinguishing all space between you and him, until it’s nothing but the frantic closeness of his lips on yours, and yours on his. You bite him softly, and he bites back, he slides his tongue along your bottom lip and you anxiously take him in your mouth, he takes you in his, tongues pressing flat against each other, waltzing together all over and around both mouths and inner cheeks in sweet accordance. 

He moans and you breathe him in, your hands coiled protectively around him, holding him chest to chest with you. He whines in utter relish and slides the palm of his hands around your neck, along your collarbone and a little under your shirt collar, caressing your skin warmly. You pull the hem of his shirt up a bit, smoothing his lower back as he presses his body against yours. 

He breaks the kiss gasping loudly, his heavy breathing being the only audible sound in the room. You lean over and press your lips to his jaw, trailing along down his neck and ending with a slight bite on the crook. He breathes your name and you level your eyes, pressing your forehead to his and brushing your noses together. He catches his bottom lip between his teeth and frowns, looking at you for a moment then closing his eyes. He tugs blindly at the collar of your shirt and you’re eager to grab it and pull it above your head, disposing of it to the side. You almost knock the shades over. He notices and takes them gently, you sense a hint of intimidation, and places them safely on the ground beside the mattress. 

You kiss him full on the lips and push him forward a bit. He takes the hint instantly and shifts to lie down on his back, you softly on top of him. You press your lips to the corner of his, his jaw, cheek, ear, head, horns. He shivers. You kiss the base of his horns, where they meet his head, and he whines in a low voice. You arch an eyebrow and lick from the base to the top, sucking a bit at the tip and you’re very much impressed when shaky moans escape his lips. 

Interesting.

You move somewhat to have a better angle of his face and bring a hand to his head, caressing the skin adjoining the horns. His eyebrows are knitted together as he arches his back a little, scoffing in annoyance and you’re not sure if that’s a good thing. For scientific purposes you rub the base of his horns up to the summit, scraping the end with your nail and that’s when he whines loudly, making some sort of clicking noise you’ve never heard before. You rub faster and his whining blears out with what you assume are moans because this shit is getting so alien you’re not a hundred percent sure of what is going on anymore. 

You curiously glance down, down his neck and heaving chest, down his stomach and hands gripping the mattress, down to his crotch and yes, he’s enjoying himself throughoutly. You lower your hips a little to grind against him and he gasps, shooting his eyes wide open, looking up at you startled. You shoosh him and press your lips to his, successfully pacifying him to the extent of being rewarded by his melting down under you. He wraps his arms around your shoulders and brings you closer, both of you moaning as your hips slide together with the motion. You press open mouthed kisses down his neck and he spreads his legs apart, bending them on the knees. You shudder and he whines as you rub your crotch against his, the need of immediate friction driving you up the walls.

He arches his back very nearly off the bed and pushes his head further onto the mattress, biting on his bottom lip to muffle delicious moans as you grind harder down on him, multiple times in a row, craving for his sounds and reactions. He whines and complains, shooting his hands up to blindly grab and claw at your chest and back, turning you on to the bearable limit.

You lean down and kiss him hastefully, content with his immediate response, and slide your hands under his shirt, up his chest. He shivers underneath you, but rises his arms nonetheless and complies in helping you lift his shirt above his head and away, lost in the room. You kiss him harder and press your chests together, rubbing at his crotch to earn needy gasps and clicking sounds. His nails dig into your back as he jolts his head back, groaning in annoyance and pressing against you. You know he’s as desperate as you at this point, so you make your way to unfasten your belt and unzip your pants. He’s wearing sweats, which hastens the undressing and you’re actually glad for that; it boosts the booty appreciation at times.

You work your way out of your pants and push them down your thighs, along with your boxers, and that’s when you realize the sneaky bastard is watching you. You rise your eyebrows at him in a suggestive manner and he looks away, with cheeks bright red. You snort a bit and slide your fingers under the waistband of his pants and underwear, lingering for a second before pulling down. 

His bulge is wrapped on itself, twirled defensively, covering his nook from view. It’s pumping red and as throbbing as yours, except timidly pressing against his thigh in need of friction. Karkat’s breathing unsteadily, stubbornly avoiding eye contact and gripping your shoulders shakily as you examine him down. Then, you pull his sweats all the way along his legs and throw them carelessly across the room. As soon as you let go of his legs, he closes them slightly, knees scarcely touching. You dive in to press a kiss to his cheek and nose, while your hands massage round, reassuring patterns on his shoulder and hip. He closes his eyes and whines impatiently, as his hands scrape your shoulder blades lightly. 

Your hand caressing his hip ventures lower, massaging his thigh then inner thigh, rewarding you a blissful gasp as he spreads his legs apart a bit. You separate them further and position yourself between them again, as Karkat squirms and wails beneath you. You press your lips to his and he hugs you closer, his bulge unhooks and rubs your hand and his thigh on the meanwhile. You close your hand around it and pump it a little, making Karkat choke and breathe heavily, head pushing back on the mattress, feet kicking blindly. You press your thumb down on the base of it and pump him all the way to the tip repeatedly, watching him squirm and moan loudly, growing restless by the second. You stroke him faster, biting on your bottom lip and catching your breathing because you’re this turned on. He’s whining and moaning deliciously, body flushed and hot against yours, bothered and blissful under your administrations. 

You let go of his bulge and he wails loudly in protest, breathing frantically, almost sobbing. You slide a couple of fingers down and along his nook, earning a shudder and one of those clicking sounds. You rub the wet skin and he pleads loudly in a cry for urgency, to which you pliantly comply, sliding the two fingers in and watching his chest heave, his head push back onto the mattress, his nails dig in your flesh. You scissor him with fast movements, listening to his cries and troll blabber, which make your dick throb in anticipation. He switches from english to troll in a senseless gibberish, to which you quicken the scissoring and hold it for a while, enjoying his quirks and moans. 

Until you catch a half-troll half-english sentence demanding your dick on the matter, and you instantly withdraw your fingers from him. He chokes in protest, but you’re fast to push your dick in, both of you moaning loudly as you do so. You remain in position a little, feeling him around you, the hot walls of his nook pumping on you, urging you on. You try moving and you slide inside him with surprising ease, fitting your dick in entirely, the both of you moaning and choking on the meanwhile. You shift and thrust and he’s whining, yelling at you to move faster, harder. You frown a bit but comply, and as soon as you do so he moans incentives, randomly kicking the mattress. You hook your arms behind his knees and quickly pick up a pace, formerly shallow but since he moans louder as you rock him deeper, you instantly let virgins’ courtesies aside and slam against him, groaning as you go, watching him throw his head back in complete bliss, body jerking off the mattress, troll clickings and the likes leaving the back of his throat easily with every meeting of your hips. He’s clenching against you and the patterns inside his nook make you roll your eyes to the back of your head as you hit him hard, body sweating and twitching. He calls for you, moaning your name and another troll word, which then he blends with english, and repeats them as you hide your face in the crook of his neck, your hands holding his hip down while yours rock him hot and fast. You can feel the blood pooling at the pit of your stomach, warm and urgent, making your muscles contract and soon he’s constricting against you, dangerously close to orgasm. You’re quick to close a hand around his bulge and pump him fast, in time with your thrusts. He’s screaming and his bulge is quirking haphazardly in no time as he clenches around you and comes, around you and between you, and he’s so hot and pumping on your dick you shiver and hit him hard, riding your orgasm with a few last thrusts, mewling his name against his neck before slowing down, eventually coming to a stop. 

You two remain motionless, breathing heavily and panting quickly, chests heaving in union for a moment. You, then, carefully slide out of him and both of you shiver. In a heap of desperation and fear, he fastens his hold around your shoulders and hugs you forcefully, catching you by surprise and startling you a bit there. You press a reassuring kiss to his cheek and support yourself above him on your elbows. The muscles on your arms twitch and tremble but you’re good, you ignore them. Karkat looks at you and he’s frowning, both relieved and unsure. You kiss his lips gently telling him yes, you’re here and you’ll stay here, do not fret, you meant it when you said you love him. He sighs calmer now and loosens the grip on you a little, but still keeping you close and if you dare move an inch away, he will be triggered.

One does not simply trigger a Vantas.

*

You wake up to the sound of your stomach rumbling, empty. You groan and bring a hand to rub at your eye, but accidentally hit Karkat instead. He growls and scoffs at you, presumably sleeping still, then turns around with his back to you. You apologize drowsily and rub your eyes, yawning contently. 

The room is still lighted prettily, displaying moving patterns on both of you. It has a faint cherry scent now, though, to which you take no aversion whatsoever. You turn to Karkat and shift closer to him, ghosting your nose over his shoulder and making exaggerated sniffling sounds up to his neck, successfully gathering his attention. You place a kiss behind his ear and he flaps it on your face, making you snort. You coil an arm around his waist and lean closer to kiss his cheek, realizing he’s full awake now. 

“whats our status o mystical pro of troll romance and i suppose romance in all its immensurable glory please share your vast wisdom with an earthy human” 

He turns around in your arms to fully face you, rising an eyebrow at your words as if considering his almighty knowledge to grant you this request. You give a shot at puppy eyes, puckering your lips even, all to his amusement, apparently, for he only scoffs and quirks his lips in that way you just know it’s a smile. 

“HOW ABOUT FUCK IT AND LATER WE’LL FIND OUT.” 

Sounds great to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> murders self

**Author's Note:**

> formatting makes me cry


End file.
